Audis and Hotels

Last night's dream was vivid. I remember walking down a nondescript road (I think it was supposed to be Allensbank Road in Cardiff) and seeing the England cricket team disembark from the trailer of a lorry. They were all wearing white, but the team Captain had huge muscles and wanted to show them off, which he did by tearing the sleeve off his cricket jumper so that he could flex his muscles. My fiancée (who had apparently been with me all along) was evidently not impressed. She just rolled her eyes and gave a wry smile.

I hate cricket, and know nothing of the English cricket team. My fiancée also has no love for the game.

My fiancée and I continued to walk down the road, suddenly intent on finding a Hotel to stay in. On the way I was beckoned into a car showroom by a sales person who wanted to show me the latest Audi model. He sat myself and my friend, Tim, (my fiancée had vanished for now) at a small café table and offered us canapés to tempt us to buy a car. We ate deep fried calamari from the food offered to us and I noted that it was a particularly nice cut of calamari.

I read about this new concept BMW today. Also, we recently decided not to serve canapés at our wedding and use the money to invite more people to the daytime service and meal instead.

Next I found myself attempting to check into the aforementioned hotel with my fiancee and Tim. There were not many rooms left, so me and my fiancée would be staying in a double room and Tim would have to sleep in a twin room. I wanted to know if we could smoke in the room, and the hotel manager offered to roll some cigarettes up for us. He made a pigs ear of it, failing to notice the edge of the Rizla that had a glue strip, and couldn't understand why his rolly would not seal up. He tried cutting it in half, but the tobacco just fell out all over the desk. I suspected that he had never rolled a cigarette before, but didn't mention this to him for fear of upsetting him.

I don't smoke, and I never get upset at people trying something for the first time, especially if they are doing it to be helpful, or otherwise endear themselves to me.

We all made it upstairs to where the bedrooms were located, but we could not find our room number. We looked in one room - it was the bathroom. Tim opened the door to another room which already had some people in it. He pointed out the the room number attached to the base of two single beds which had been pushed together to resemble a double, and had an occupant in one. The occupant was a generic townie getting drunk with his mates. The number matched the number of our double room, and I felt bitter disappointment at having let my fiancée down, especially on holiday.

I hate the way some people (usually violent drunken townies) can ruin an otherwise perfectly good holiday and/or night out.

I was about to complain to the hotel manager when I woke up...